Chasing Awe
Artist Residency: Object Limited, Bisbee, AZ
November, 2019
Bisbee is the kind of place where “you find yourself, by getting lost”. It’s a cheeky, little phrase that I read about the residency in the weeks before heading there. At the time I had no idea how true this would be.
I began my residency with very few expectations of myself or my work. I arrived with an open mind and plenty of art supplies (hauled with me from Canada). A natural first step was to explore the surrounding mountains that the tiny western town is perked within. The rolling Mule Mountains, that are rich in gemstones and minerals, and grassy canyon lands are scattered with plenty of unmarked trails. They traverse above the townsite, showcasing magnificent vistas reaching into Mexico.
I set out, day after day, into the unknown. Unsure where my legs would take me, or what I would find. The fear of the unknown could have easily stifled my adventures, as I was well aware of a few things that kept nagging on my mind: I was in a foreign country, nobody knew where I was, I was hiking around in areas that had no cell service, I was alone., After a steep elevation climb, I’d stop to catch my breath and notice that the endorphins were combating any anxiety I once had, and I was left a clear mind.
Time after time, I was faced with these feelings, and each time, as the fear subsided, I found myself in a place of complete inner peace. I found myself in the High Desert mountainside which can only be described as sublime. It is completely awe-inspiring. Clear, abundant and radiant colour as far as the eye can see. My breath was taken away.
The awe, a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder, that became so intriguing.
Upon descending the hillside each day, I would return to my painting studio. There I would pour myself onto the canvas. I was not intending to create a representation of anything, nor was I trying to convey one specific feeling, or portrayal of a place. Instead, I was participating in a moment. With each brushstroke and charcoal smudge that I layered on top of the other I left a path of creation. Guided only by intuition, I worked without perimeters. I rode that giddy feeling until it was over, then I would wash my brushes for the day and start fresh in the morning.